Positive praise and Robins.

I am currently sat cwtched up in bed after a night shift, listening to the rain hitting the window and feeling ever so sleepy and sore!

Yesterday was a "push it and see how far you can go" run and that is exactly what I did.  I had a route in mind but after my last run which was a pathetic and grueling 2 miles and a week of starting a new exercise thingy called The Body Boss, I wasn't very confident that I would get all the way round it, but off I went regardless.

As i've mentioned on previous posts I am very self conscious about running and always think that people are looking at me and judging me cos I run too slow or i'm not built for running etc, but sometimes (probably most of the time) it couldn't be further from the truth and yesterdays run showed me that.
 That first mile seems to be getting a bit easier, so much so I actually ran it at a reasonable pace, i'd almost go so far as to say I enjoyed it!  Mile 2 wasn't all that bad and that's when I thought ooooh I might be in for a good one today.  I think I began to hit a little wall about half way through mile 3 when a bloke in a white van beeped his horn and gave me a thumbs up.  I have no idea if I know this man or not, I don't wear my glasses when I run so cant see make out faces of people.  A little while later 2 men on bikes passed me and shouted "Nice one, keep going" (I can only imagine the state of my face at that point!!)  I also passed another jogger coming down the hill I was running up who commented that there was no way he would be running up the hill and well done for doing it.  Just these chance meetings of people out and about who were all encouraging and supportive gave me that extra incentive to push that little bit harder.  This might sound crazy, after all these people are strangers, they have no idea who I am, what i'm doing and why i'm doing it but they still took the time to send some positivity my way!

A random facebook conversation at 5am this morning with an old school friend also helped to boost my confidence.  He is training for marathons this year and plans to do ironman in the near future.  We've not spoken a lot since school, liked and commented on each others facebook but that's it really, so for him to take time to message me with words of encouragement and praise meant a lot!  So if you are reading this, thanks Jams!

The other thing that struck me yesterday whilst I was running was the presence of a little feathered friend just at my most difficult parts, the bits where I was gritting my teeth and trying to talk myself into stopping.  Every time I got to this stage a little robin would catch my eye in the hedgerow beside me, hopping from one leg to another, almost as if to mimic my running.  Those of you who know me will know the symbolism our family associate with Robins.  For those that don't, it was always mum's belief that people came back as Robins to watch other their loved ones.  It's kinda stuck with me and the kids and every time we see a Robin we instantly think of mum.  So every time i was struggling yesterday, this little Robin was there, hopping from foot to foot, saying to me "Come on, you can do it".  It may be complete lunacy on my part but that little feathered friend helped to spur me on!

So yesterdays run ended at 6 miles!!  Almost half way to where I need to be!  It's a slow and steady pace but it's momentum and its going in the right direction.  Funny how the little things make a big difference.  So if you see me out jogging (you cant miss me, picture Mrs Blobby in the brightest orange running top you can imagine with the brightest of red faces) give me a shout, a beep of the horn or just a wave, in fact anyone who is out trying to get fit and maybe struggling a bit, give them a bit of positive praise, believe me it really makes the difference!

.....and on that note I shall bid you farewell as I pull the duvet up over my ear and enjoy a lovely recovery snooze!

Don't forget I still need your sponsorship!!  Just click on the link below to go to my Justgiving page. Thanks xx
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/allyshalfmarathonmadness

Self belief

I think the thing I struggle with most is self belief.  I know I am my own worst critic and way too harsh on myself and it is something I am working on.  I still struggle to see myself as a runner, i'm always worried that someone I know will see me.  I am aware that I am not going to break any speed records and that my running pace is the same as some peoples walking pace!  I still feel self conscious about being out in public.  This is stuff I need to work on!

Last week I was looking through my Instagram stories and a personal trainer I follow called Pmac.  He trains lots of celebs like Giovanna Fletcher, Marvin and Rochelle Humes and Reggie Yates.  He regularly posts work out ideas and stories with little snippets of wisdom.  It was one of these stories this week that caught my attention.  I don't remember the exact words he used but basically the message was "Just because you didn't so something yesterday does not mean you can't do it tomorrow". This got me thinking, I've chosen my running routes carefully to avoid hills because I can't run up hills.
I had also posted about this in a group I belong to and other runners had given me some help and advice on how to approach hill running.  I know I have done it previously but I had just totally lost confidence since I started running again.  So today I planned a new route, one that involved a very long hill.  It wasn't the steepest hill in town but it was a hill none the less.

After trying to talk myself out of the run 100 times (something else I also need to work on) I laced up my trainers, loaded up my best 90's cheesy dance music and hit the road.  The first mile was hard (it always is isn't it!! Why is that?) but once I found my stride I felt great.  The hill of death (as I have now renamed it) came just at the end of mile 2, like I said it is a long hill, the majority of which is a gentle slope but there are also some steep bits within it.  I focused on the lay by half way up the hill and decided that would be my goal, if I could just get to there then I would be happy.....I got there.  At the lay by I decided I would continue to the bench a bit further up, at least then I could collapse in a heap on the bench.  Bench reached and I decided to push a bit further, after all I was more or less at the top now so pointless stopping.  I got to the top of the hill and felt like Rocky at the top of those steps!!! (I may have even raised my hands in the air at this point).  At the top I was surprised to find my legs were still capable of moving so I continued until I hit mile 4!  This felt absolutely amazing.  I actually felt I could have continued a bit further but i'm also conscious that I don't want to over do things and end up causing myself an injury and set back my training.

Today has definitely been about mind over matter, I took Pmac's words on board and thought just because I couldn't do a hill last time I was out running did not mean I couldn't do it today, and I did!
I have read lots about how a positive mindset and how people can get so far in their training and push through their mental barriers but I have never been able to harness this within my own training...until today.  It felt amazing to run up that hill and it felt amazing to hit that 4 mile mark, I cannot wait to make more progress in my future runs!